My Reason
by Alice-Jaspers Girl
Summary: A Jalice Story Alice and Jasper but i bet you knew that befoer they had the cullens.


A Jalice Story

Jasper's POV

I know the life that I am living has to be changed. I don't want to kill; I don't want to feel the extreme pain of my victim every time I eat. But what other option have I. Peter and charlotte tell me I will get used to the feeling but I know I won't. So I take the decision in my own hands and wander off. I don't know where I am going, but that I want to do something. Be someone. Have a…life. And I wont stop looking and searching till I have a reason.

Alice's POV

Where am I? Why am I in pain? Why am I burning? Make it stop. Please. I can't handle pain. It burns my fingers, and I want to move away from the heat, but it will follow me. All I can do is scream. A minuet feels like an eternity, a day feels like a lifetime. The pain…stopped. It turned to a new feeling, strength. I open my eyes, to new world…a highly defined, new world. This is when I see him.

Jasper's POV

I have been on my own for weeks, looking, searching for something that most likely isn't even there…but something told me to keep going. Im not sure what but I knew I couldn't stop. I was going to find happiness, and laughter not matter how long it took me. I will go anywhere, do anything. As long as I love where I end up.

Alice's POV

I don't know where to start, where to look even. I just know the face. It's his face. Im not sure who he is, but I know he is important to me. I will find him, or he will find me. Im sure of it. I see a little shop so I enter, to see if they know where the hell I am. What day, what month, what year. People look different. They…smell different…they smell…appetizing. I don't know why, but the thought of humans makes my throat burn like I haven't had water in years…maybe im thirsty…hungry? But, food doesn't smell good. I don't want food…im not sure what I want though. I just want that annoying burn to fade.

Jasper's POV

I pass by a small town, and this is when it hits me. The scent, their scent. I can tell I must hunt, and I must hunt now, but I don't want to. I cant feel their pain without feeling it myself. And it hurts. I hate this. I hate my life. I hate what I've become. I just want to disappear. To leave and to never come back. I just want to…die…but I know I can't. I have to live. Something is telling me to keep going….but what?

Jaspers POV

I wander around the town aimlessly, and people stare at me…they always seem to stare…once and a while I will have a very brave person come up to me and talk…but not often. I am by myself. But I don't long to be by myself…secretly, I want someone that cares about me- I've always pretended to be independent, but just to have someone who is watching out for me, who cares, who listens…who loves me…anyone. I want someone to take care of too…I don't care who they are, what has haunted them, as long as I love them. I know im not perfection…im damaged…but if anyone could handle me…could dare to live with me, and learn to love this hideous face of a monster…they are more than welcome…I know this is impossible…but am I not allowed to dream? I look around at my surroundings and see a happy couple to my right…the wind blows and sends the females scent rushing towards me. I tighten my throat, and try to turn in the opposite direction, but my feet will not let me move…I want her. She smells amazing….perfect…like summer…mixed with the richest, most smooth chocolate you have ever had. I take a step forward, preparing to hunt…but something stops me…I look at the face of her…mate and see how truly happy he is, and feel his bliss running threw my veins…I close my eyes, and turn away. I can't destroy his life…here I am, craving to have exactly what he does, but as soon as I show weakness, I am willing to take it all away from him…for myself. This is truly why I am a monster…a hypocrite, a liar, a demon. As I run into the forest, I punch my fist into a tree, only to have it crack in response. A small cry of pain escapes my mouth as I realize the truth…I am lying to myself. No one could ever love such a horrible person…I mean…vampire like me. I can't control it. My gift is to strong. I don't want to eat, it hurts me. But I do it anyways. I take people away from their lives without a second thought. I know that I will have to endure this pain for…well forever. I am by myself. And always will be. I slump down to the ground, and sit…that's it. I just sit. I try not to think, but my thoughts overpower my strength. The world around me is beautiful…perfection. I could only imagine being human, and seeing this world as they do. Not knowing the dangers that only face the world at night, not knowing that everything they know…isn't completely true, that people aren't what they seem…that the adorable gentleman with a large southern twang is secretly a monster. They believe the lie. My mother taught me to never lie, that was her first lesson for me…that and to treat ladies with respect. I have broken both those promises. I have killed innocent women, just for my thirst. I lie every moment I exist. I remember my sweet little sister, Josie, in the moment before she died- she was accidentally shot in the back at the age of 6- that she told me to keep on being jazzy…which to her meant everything. That was when I was still human. I promised her, as tears came out my eyes, that I would always love her and be her jazzy. She died later that day…she was my life…and that was the first sign that life as I knew it would be changing drastically…I realize that I am not the same person anymore. I broke my promise. And when seeing how her face would look if she ever learned this killed me. I deserved to be killed. No one could ever love someone as horrid as me… but I still longed for impossible. I prayed.

Alice's POV

As I walked into the store, the man behind the desk stared at me questioningly-though I had no clue who he was. "Mary..." he said as he walked over to me, only to give me a huge hug afterwards. "Yes…" I said. So, my name was Mary. "I thought you were dead!" the man behind the desk said. "Actually, you are supposed to be dead…" I replied "dead? Im sure im not dead. I do feel….different though…could you tell me what today's date is?" The man laughed. "oh, little Mary. You must have bumped your head back at the hospital…its October 14th , 1920." I looked at him curiously. "Hospital? What hospital?" his eyes widen as he understood how clueless I was. "hunny, the asylum…the mental hospital…you were very sick as a teenager…your parents…they tried to help you….but then you didn't respond very well to the hospitals…treatment methods." I looked at him, and realized that I was supposed to believe this. "How old am I?" he laughed "your around 19 or so…last time I checked at least. You must have hit your head pretty hard." I nodded. "Im sorry, but how do I know you?" "You went to school with my baby girl…she moved away now, married…but I still remember you. You were a very spirited child. But you look different Mary, you look good…but different." I nodded. "I feel different…im sorry, im being a bother…but I don't even remember my name…" "Sweetheart, your Mary. Mary Alice Brandon." I felt my eyes start to hurt, and it felt like tears were supposed to form, but nothing happened…I looked the strange man right in the face, whispered "thank you." And ran off. I couldn't take it. I don't know who I am…I don't know what I am. But after talking to this man I know one thing for sure. Im not supposed to be alive. Im not human. I just want an explanation. That's all. I want someone to sit me down, hold my hand, tell me every little detail, and then cuddle me close to them telling me everything will be alright, because right now, nothing is alright. I just want to be normal. I never asked for this. I start walking to the forest, but blackness overcomes me and I fall to the ground in shock

"_you have kept me waiting along time…" I said _

"_Im sorry ma'am" the beautiful man said_

_I laughed. "you must be so confused…_

"_just a little…" he said as he laughed along with me._

"_well so am I." I took his hand, and I finally felt happy, whole, content with who I was._

I returned back to reality, and had an epiphany. This was him. He could explain everything for me. He was…perfect. His eyes seemed very unusual, but why should I take notice to such a small detail. He seemed so sweet, so sincere. He made me feel happy; but, who was he? I had to find this mysterious man- wait….what the heck just happened…I saw….no. I couldn't have…but…somehow…I know I did. Did I really just see what was coming? See the future? No. I could have possibly…BUT if I did….I like my future… I smiled small to myself, and continued walking. Suddenly, a painful burn took over all my senses. But I knew it was concentrated in my throat…I look up and see 3 large female deer's, well does. And the burn gets worse…my animal instincts take over…and I attack…my teeth clench onto the large deer's neck and I begin to drink…only after a minute did it sink in that I was drinking blood….like some sort of…monster…like a vampire. But the pain dulled, and I felt like a weight had been lifted. So I drank the rest of the deer's blood happily. I stood up, and realized that the burn was still there…I looked down at myself…I had blood in my hair, and a bit on my face…I could tell. But I was pretty clean. So I continued walking, asking myself questions about what just happened…could I be a monster. I knew the answer to that; yes. I could. But I didn't want to think that…ever. If I was a….vampire….then I would never let myself think that I was. I couldn't. but If I was, I would cope. Learn how to handle this well. But that didn't matter to me now. As I let my mind wander back to this man, I felt the urge to be with him. So I let my heart decide, and started planning out how I was going to find this man…first things first…where? Well as I thought, I realized I was in some sort of restaurant…a. diner…I racked my brain for any details, and realized that I was missing the obvious, on the sign behind the mans face it said "the best burgers in Philly." PHILLIDOLPHIA! That was it. I started running.

Jasper's POV

After being alone for three years you realize that it makes you go crazy. I long for attention…but sadly, more than that, I long for touch. The feeling of another person's skin settles you. Makes you feel wanted. But everything here felt wrong. Weird. Not right. I needed a companion, and fast. Before I went insane. I craved contact. I needed to hear another persons voice, to hear them laugh.

Alice's POV

Im at the border for Philadelphia when another "vision" overtakes me. It is of a man, and his…family…he talk of hunting, and I am there. With him. With his family…they seem…wonderful. I want them, no I crave them. I must meet these mysterious people. I noticed something about them, they said something, and It caught my attention. They said that they only drank animal blood, no human blood at all…I will live like this someday…so…why not start now. I walk as im thinking, and by nightfall I reach the diner. I sigh, and realize this is it. My future is staring me in the face, right now. And…he might not even know what is coming his way…I walk in, and see a few humans…but no beautiful stranger. This disappointed me, but I knew it would happen someday…soon I hope. I will wait. As long as it takes. Ive been here two weeks. No beautiful stranger. I wish I knew his name…ill know soon. The vision is clearer, which I think means that it is closer…I sit down at my usual seat at the bar, an wait.

Jasper's POV

I somehow manage to end up in Philadelphia…it was raining. This was to be expected this time of year. I don't want to seem like im…different…standing in the rain probably doesn't help with that. But where do I go? I look around and see a tiny diner at the end of the road. Threw the front window I see her. She is alone. Which is unusual for a lady of her beauty….she isn't eating-wait. No. she is! She is like me. I can tell. She is anxious. I can feel it. She is waiting….I probably shouldn't intrude on her life, but I must just see her up-close. I walk up to the diner slowly, and every step I take she becomes more gorgeous. I take a deep breath and open the diner's front door. The bell rings, and the little lady looks right at me. She's smiling. She gets up…what is she feeling? Its intense…nothing I've ever felt before…she wouldn't attack me in front of humans…so I am safe. She stops right in front of me, laughs a little and says "you have kept me waiting so long." I didn't know what to say…waiting? But she just met me. So I said the kind of thing my father would say. "im sorry ma'am." She laughed. It sounded beautiful…it sounded like opportunity, and optimism. Two things I so desperately craved. "That's okay." She said. I watched her lips as she talked. They were bright red, full to the extreme, but they looked soft. Something possessed me right then. Something that wanted this tiny mysterious woman. I wanted to touch her lips…but I wouldn't. Not now. She held out her hand for me to take…she trusted me…I wanted to touch her so much that I didn't stop to think when I quickly grabbed her hand and intertwined my finger with hers. Finally. Perfection. She giggled, and I swear to god the sun started shining right outside, in the middle of the night in a rain storm, it was shining. I looked into her eyes and I swear I could see into her soul…they were beautiful. Perfect, like every other part of her. "Im Mary, she said." I smiled, and realized that this was the first time I had smiled in over 5 years…"nice to meet you ma'am. Im Jasper. Jasper Whitlock." Her eyes light up. "im so glad I met you." I wanted to take her away with me right there. To hide from the world, to keep her mine forever. I wanted her closer. In my arms. But I wouldn't dare. She was so small, so breakable… "are you okay Jasper?" I nodded quickly and laughed "im sorry Mary, but im just a little confused…" she giggled. The sound was perfect. "now that I hear you call me Mary, I don't like it…I sound like I should be an old women knitting in her house….please, Jasper, if you would, call me….Alice." I nodded again. "yes ma'am…I mean…of course Alice." I smiled like a total fool. She had no idea how happy calling her by her name made me… right there in the middle of an old diner, I realized I was home. "Alice…may I ask you a question?" Alice Smiled at me. "ask me anything." I sighed. If this was going to my life…I couldn't believe it…I didn't deserve perfection. But I was greedy. I was going to take her anyways. "Will you stay?" these words came out so timidly I was scared she didn't hear them. But out of nowhere I felt a blast of happiness emanating from her. "Of course! I will stay! Yes. Yes, yes, YES!" I looked at her, and she was looking at me. She moved forward closer. Just like I wanted. I pulled her in, and I held her close. I hugged my beautiful little Alice. I rested my chin on the top of her head, and breathed in. she smelt amazing…but felt even better. Its like she was molded to me. We fit together perfectly. It was unbelievable… "do you want to leave now Jasper?" the tiny little voice asked me… "I really need to ask you some questions…you probably have some for me too." She smiled, and I forgot how to form a proper sentence, let alone open my mouth without making a total fool of myself. So I simply nodded. She dragged me outside and started walking, our hands still tangled together. I had no clue where I was going, nor did I care. I was finally happy. And that's all that matters. No, correction. SHE is all that matters now. She has claimed my heart as hers.

Alice's POV

JASPER! How much I simply adore that name….i could look at him forever and never look away…..I cant help but laugh every time he looks at me…he is mine. I know it. When he held me, it was heaven. He was my personal angle, and I believe he thought the same of me. We were perfect for one another. I needed to talk to him…away from humans…so I took him back to the motel where I was "spending the night." This was necessary after people started noticing me staying out in the woods all night…as we enter the room I can tell how uncomfortable Jasper has become…I look around the small confined room, and giggle, realizing that Jasper was scared that he was going to become an improper gentlemen if he had to stay in the same room as me all night…we would leave later. Stay outside. It was easier for him. He looked at me as I sat down. I patted the spot on the bed beside me. "don't worry Jasper, I wont bite…" he started laughing hysterically and made the decision to come join me. "Alice….how did you know I was coming?" she sighed. "its kind of hard to explain…im kind of…special…I can see things…in the future…I saw you when I was first…made…I knew I had to find you…which brings me to the question…Jasper? Are you a…vampire…" he simply nodded. "as are you Alice…but…your eyes…they confuse me…." I looked into his eyes and noticed that they were red…a deep red, unlike my golden eyes…I did agree…this is strange…I only had one theory… "maybe…its what we eat..i mean…you probably eat…." I gulped. "Humans…" he looked at me questioningly. "and…you don't?" I shook my head. "there are other ways Jasper…I only eat animals…the first time I ate it was a deer and I couldn't control myself…but then I saw the Cullen's…and they live off of animals. And we live with them eventually, so I took my time to learn to control my hunger and just eat animal." I smiled. "slow down Alice…we live together? With the….Cullens?" I nodded. "so you really do stay? I mean…that's amazing…" I laughed, realizing that he was just as happy as me. I was never going to get used to this, every day was going to be perfect from now on. I could tell. "I will try your…diet…" he said. I giggled. I was going to have to learn to control those silly giggles. "Alice, im special too." He confessed. "I can feel people…by that I mean…emotions…I can feel them. And I can kind of control other peoples emotions along with that…im a real empath…" I was shocked. I was glad he could tell me this…but I thought I was unique…but no. he was like me. Special. We were perfect matches. "That is amazing Jasper…but can I trust my emotions around you?" jasper laughed. "you can trust me….trust me." I laughed, I couldn't help it. "what am I feeling right now Jasper?" I looked into his eyes, waiting for a reaction. I wanted to know how he felt, and him know about my feelings. This was the way. "im not sure to be honest….i've never felt this emotion before…but trust me…I am enjoying this emotion. I love this climate of happiness." I smiles and leaned closer to Jasper. I held his hand and brought it up to my face…this was it… "Jasper. The emotion your feeling…it's…" he looked into my eyes. "tell me…Alice…" the way he said my name made me want to tell him anything….i looked at his lips for the first time and I craved them. They were soft, yet completely strong. I could tell. I sat there for a moment, and regained my thoughts. "the emotion I am feeling, and have been since I first saw you is….love…" I looked away afraid of rejection. He touched my cheek, and turned me to face him…he was very…strong…I liked it…it distracted me. "Alice…please…look at me…" I looked into his eyes; they were warm, despite their frightful color. "are you serious Alice, you cant play me with this….if you really love me I need to know…" I was not expecting him to be so calm. "Jasper, of course…I love you. I know I just met you, and its against how you were raised to commit to someone you just met, but…im committed." I laughed nervously. He put his other hand on my other cheek, I was bursting with excitement. "Alice…" he rested his forehead on mine, and I inhaled deeply, memorizing his lovely scent. I knowi shouldn't have, but I couldn't help but feed my addiction to him. I gently placed my lips on his, and kissed him. I moved closer to him, and he kissed me back. It was amazing, a connection. I wanted to be closer. But as soon as I tried, he pulled away. Rejected. "Alice, please. Stop. You cant do that." I was crushed. I turned away from him. and silently I could hear myheart being ripped in two. Im guessing he read my emotions because within a second he was comforting me, hugging me closely, but never close enough. "Oh my, Alice…im so sorry…im just….I can't…trust me Alice…I would...if I could…you are my forever and I know that…im just scared. I don't want to…I was raised in a different life than that….i just need to ease into it slowly…im sorry." He repeated the last word as he kissed my head, over and over again. I turned around and he cradled me in his lap whispering his apology continuously. "Jasper…its okay. I was just…this is my fault…I shouldn't have…im sorry." He laughed a little and kissed the top of my head. He cleared his throat, and I looked up at him… "Alice, I don't want to lose myself completely in one night….but I don't know if I can…not…I found you….that changes my whole view on life…my emotions are wild…I need you…but…." He shook his head. And slowly I came to realize what he was saying…he was…giving in to the temptation…I think… it would take me one kiss to win him over…but would I make him betray himself like that? I didn't have time to answer myself…within seconds his lips crushed against mine and I fell into a total bliss. Temptation has been given into…for both of us. I pull away slowly and he growls in protest. "Are you sure about this Jasper?" he nods quickly and pulls my lips back to his. I have been possessed by love…if someone came looking for Alice, they wouldn't find her here. She was gone. Someone new filled Alice with passion. He tangles his fingers in my hair, and I smile. He laughs at my response and holds me close. I let nature take its course for once, not fighting it, but going with it. Slowly my hand reaches up and pulls at the collar of his shirt…he seems to agree with my hand and unbuttons the top button so that the very top of his chest is showing. I liked it. After that I found it easier to pull the buttons off of his shirt rather than undoing them. His skin is cold. As hard as marble, yet the softest thing I have ever felt. My hand traced over his left arm, and I was shocked immediately by what I found. Millions of tiny bite marks…covering im completely. I pulled away and gasped. "Jasper…what happened…your…arm…." He kissed me and told me not to worry about that until morning; apparently he had more important things on his mind….I kissed his arm and he breathed in heavily. I looked at him, and his eyes were closed, and he was smiling slightly, it was the most beautiful expression I have seen in my life. I kissed him softly, and his hand laid on my back holding me there, right on top of my beautiful stranger. He reached for the top button of my dress, and I had a moment of internal freak out. But then I looked into his eyes, and realized I should be calm. He seemed to have a very, very hard time with buttons so I helped him. I removed my dress, and he got very angry…I suppose he wasn't expecting another layer of clothing, I was still wearing my corset, and apparently he was strongly apposed to that. "Alice…what is with this absurd corset…people stopped wearing these in the early 1900's darlin'."

I woke up with it on….im not sure why…but I just haven't…changed yet." He looks at the back of corset and gasps. "Alice…this corset says property of Biloxi mental institution, patient 1254…it goes a lot tighter than most corsets….it looks too tight…Alice…explain…" he loosened the corset a little as he talked, and I answered slowly. "I don't know what it is Jasper…I don't remember anything about my human life…I'm not sure…" jasper seemed scared… "Alice…they wouldn't…restrict your breathing on purpose with this…would they?..." I honestly didn't know. "Maybe…but I don't know…" I smiled encouragingly. "But your right…it is a little bit tight…would you please kind sir, help me with loosening for me." I bit the air jokingly. He seemed to agree very fast, and then he gasped for air very quickly as he traced over many scars on my back… "this was way to tight Alice…I don't think this is a corset…" I gasped. "Oh my…" I felt the scars on my back. "what happened to me…" jasper hugged me tightly. "alice I could probably figure this out…ive worked with a lot of…and don't get offended…mental patients…when I was still human…" I nodded. He examined my back and the back of the corset that I was still wearing. I felt him cringe, and gasp…I looked over at him, and his eyes were full of pain. "Jasper…" he shook his head. "this is no corset Alice. This is a form of…I don't know what it is called, but it is to make sure you had no ability to move…and it seems to have restricted your breathing…I think this was their form of…treatment…for what ever "problem" you had…Alice…this must have been torture." I cringed slightly. "well…I am okay now. Infact, I am perfect." I kissed him. he looked at me. "I wont let anyone hurt you…" he kissed me passionately. I nodded. "I believe you." I said. He suddenly started laughing. "what?" I asked. "my soul-mate is a mental patient…" I looked at him and smiled. "soul mate?" he nodded. And I kissed him and let him continue to loosen my "torture corset" slowly.

Jaspers POV

I am in heaven. I must be. No one on earth can be this happy. I have officially had the best night of my life, and I am lying here, in an old, run down hotel, with the most beautiful little pixie in the world curled up next to me. She was softly singing a song I didn't know, and tracing over scars on my arm. I looked over to my left and saw the remnants of a shredded torture corset. My Alice would never but put through pain, ever again. I felt her lips on my skin and I looked over at her. Her deep gold eyes were consuming me whole and I was completely mesmerized. "hi." She said. And even though that was the shortest, most plain sentence known to mankind, it had a new meaning when she said it. I smiled, and motioned for her to come closer. She giggled her adorable giggle…that well…I adored. I knew she was it. The last girl I would ever look at in that way…but I didn't care even one bit. In fact I was glad the searching was over. She had fallen for me, and I her. There was something I needed to do though…something that I promised myself. I couldn't break another promise…even though honestly I broke this promise last night….I would make this right. I have given myself to her completely, and therefore, legally, I must make her completely mine forever. And vow not to ever leave her. I knew I wouldn't. But I had to keep one promise to myself. Right then I had decided to be married to the lovely Alice…Alice…oh…I never learned her last name. But it didn't matter. Her true last name is Whitlock in my books. I would be married to the lovely Alice Whitlock. I had forgotten about my soon to be wife's "special gift" for only one second, and soon she saw exactly what I was just thinking. It happened so quickly, if you blinked you would have missed it. One second I was kissing her, the next she was jumping up and down squealing with glee. In that second, I remembered her gift and sighed. "JASPER! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! A million times yes!" I laughed. "You saw my plans, you devilish little monster." She nodded. And kissed me. I wouldn't propose then. I needed a ring first. But I would very shortly…I just needed time.


End file.
